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Written March 2024
When Covid became ‘a thing’, it is not an exaggeration to say that the world went somewhat bonkers, and a good proportion of the population of the planet lost their collective minds. For those of us who saw through the massive psychological operation, it was like watching swathes of the populace jumping headfirst into a cult. But, many celebrities, seeing opportunity knocking for the biggest virtue signalling grift of their careers, were quick to pick their team. The lure of being seen to be not only caring, but intelligent to boot by siding with ‘the science’ was just too much for many of these self-centred, self-congratulatory starlets to resist, and they took on their roles with aplomb. Siding with the approved narrative, and shamelessly using their celebrity to push the idea that the only way to be a good person was to mask up, glove up, anti-bacterial-gel-up, shut the f-up, and eventually, jab up, they took to social media and our TV screens to espouse their superior knowledge of what was best for us. #weknowbetterthanyou.
First off the blocks were the glut of daytime telly stalwarts, who seemed to think they had been born for that moment. The undisputed king and queen of this genre, Holly & Phil, (now overthrown, of course), practically salivated as they put on their best ‘we’re all in this together’ faces, and pretended they were ‘just like us’. They rolled out their disgusting TV ‘doctors’; Hilary, Ranj, Amir & Zoe, who all dutifully toed the party line, and encouraged viewers to stay away from other humans (why do you need them anyway when you have these friends on the telly?), to ‘stay home’, to (see above) mask up, glove up, anti-bacterial-gel-up, shut the f-up, and eventually, jab up. And with Holly’s friendly face and cheery giggle backing all this up, and good old unthreatening Uncle Phil (more recent events yet to be revealed) by her side, how could you possibly believe there was anything sinister about it all? Oh, and lest we forget the moment they donned a human sized condom contraption and hugged each other through the plastic. It is a wonder that the nation did not simultaneously fetch up their breakfasts.
The full complement of daytime telly and talk radio hosts came out in force to champion the most tyrannical measures for those who they deemed to be conspiracy theorists. Piers Morgan suggested unvaccinated people should be denied NHS hospital treatment should they contract Covid. Despite his nazi-esque stance, and being jabbed to the hilt, ironically, Morgan has contracted the virus more than once. Nick Ferrari also went with irony when he insisted that the unvaccinated were putting his health at risk – presumably he missed the memo about the enormous health risks of being morbidly obese? Sticking with LBC presenters, James O’Brien used his own brand of arrogant twatishness to invite callers onto his show who sounded like they were about to cry, as they described the lengths they were going to in order to ‘follow the rules’, while witnessing the bare faced cheek of those who refused to comply. The very impudence! Jobby’s manner is vile. He fawns over such people, while switching to a derisory sneer with anyone who contradicts him.
Oh, and let’s not leave out Jeremy Vine, who just adored railing against covid deniers and anti-vaxxers, alongside his Channel 5 colleague, Matthew Wright, of ratty-tail-hair oddness. Both pathetic little creatures who wouldn’t know bravery if it slapped them in the face.
All of the above were happy to parrot the narrative: (see above, always the same) mask up, glove up, anti-bacterial-gel-up, shut the f-up, and eventually, jab up. In fact, they may as well have put tassels on their tits and danced in front of Boris, Hancock, Whitty & Valance, and begged them to ‘Govern us harder’. Apologies for the hideous picture that conjures in the mind.
There were, of course, the unsurprising shit stirrers, like Tony Blair, one of the world’s most evil war mongers who astonishingly still manages to get a platform to share his disgusting rhetoric on just about every issue. He spat hate and venom regarding those who refused masks, distancing, lockdowns and vaccines. (That he is morphing into the very image of the devil is not lost on us tin foil hatters, by the way.)
What was more surprising, perhaps, was that the world of comedy provided no let up for the unending propaganda. Comedy once upon a time would have been one area of showbiz that you could have expected to see some dissent. If Bill Hicks were still alive, or George Carlin, we would have been laughing. Literally. But in today’s world, where so few in showbiz exhibit such ballsy behaviour, we are short on edgy comics pushing limits, at least when it comes to public health ‘emergencies’. All the big names in comedy at the very least toed the line, but at the worst, bullied and shamed those who saw through the big scam. Jimmy Carr showed just how much he worships his government overlords when he made a ‘joke’ about the unvaccinated in his audience. Asking them to raise their hands (there it was on display again, by the way, that bizarre phenomenon where suddenly all were expected to reveal their medical status to anyone who asked), and when some did, he told them to ‘slap themselves round the fucking face with it’. Yeah. I didn’t laugh, either.
Alleged comedian, Tom Walker, indistinguishable from his alter ego, Jonathan Pie, ranted outside a Sainsbury’s Local store. No doubt thinking himself pretty cool and edgy because he is a bit sweary, Pie seethed at those who refused to wear masks, and, like others of his ilk, equated non-compliance with cowardice. So what if it is uncomfortable to wear a mask, he admonished. Just (see above, always the same) mask up, glove up, anti-bacterial-gel-up, shut the f-up, and jab up. Got it. Thanks, Pie Face.
And what of un-comedian, Dom Joly. Famous for his massive mobile phone routine in Trigger Happy TV, Joly has struggled to stay relevant. And so, as often happens with aging celebs, he has become a self-satisfied twat, and has made it his business to belittle and ridicule anyone who questions, well, frankly, anything. And when I say he has made it his business, I mean that literally. He has written a book (published just in time for 2023’s lucrative Christmas gifting market, no doubt it was on super-woke Waterstone’s ‘stocking filler’ table) called ‘The Conspiracy Tourist’, in which he writes about travelling around the world debunking conspiracy theories which cause ‘division and mistrust’. He is currently on tour with a stage show, similarly titled and presumably consisting of the same material. He was interviewed about this by James O’Brien, which tells you all you need to know, really. Two of the smuggest and chubbiest narcissists in ‘show biz’, congratulating each other on being cleverer than all the dumb conspiracy theorists. During the Covid era, Joly repeatedly abused authors of Twitter posts that questioned the Covid narrative and the Covid vaccine. He branded non-mask wearers as ‘mouth breathers’ and supported calls for unvaccinated people to be refused service just about everywhere. A real liberal kind of chap, then.
Next along in the line of celebrities who knew best, we have the members of the Actors Guild of Sycophantic Compliance (AGSC). The membership role for this group is enormous, a veritable Who’s Who of Hollywood glitterati. Sir Ian McKellan, in true over-dramatic actor style stated that he was ‘euphoric’ after being vaccinated. Fellow thespian Stephen Fry said receiving his vaccination was a ‘wonderful moment’. Morgan Freeman went as far as starring in a public service announcement, which used the most rampant of propaganda techniques, with a script reading ‘if you trust me, you’ll get the vaccine’. Sorry, Morgan. I’m afraid I don’t trust celebrities who use their fame to push untested medical procedures on to their fans. Michael Rapaport made a charming contribution when he recorded a video of himself saying that he wasn’t joining in on the trend of asking people to please stay inside. No, he dispensed of manners and instead announced that he was ‘telling motherfuckers stay your little punk, dirty, shit-stained ass inside.’ Nice. The bizarre rant continues for over two minutes, as he talks of parents ‘grabbing their fucking kids by the neck and dragging them inside’ and goes on an unexpected tangent when he says that if you have daughters, you should ‘grab them by the wedgy panty area’ to drag them indoors, making the entire thing sound uncomfortably like a child molesters’ manifesto. Two minutes and twenty seconds of Rapaport’s mental instability later, my first thought was someone should give that guy some weed, and my second was how uneasy I felt at his clear delight in being given license to exhibit his extreme and violent parenting advice.
So very much on message, then, the Hollywood lot: (see above, always the same) mask up, glove up, anti-bacterial-gel-up, shut the f-up, and jab up. One of the most outspoken and extreme in the AGSC was Sean Penn. The Academy Award winner (they always like it when you include that) offered up his tyrannical position to anyone who would listen, and compared being unvaccinated with pointing a gun in someone’s face. Penn thinks that it should be criminal to be unvaccinated, and asserted that only vaccinated people would be welcome to see his movie, ‘Flag Day’ in movie theatres. Of course, he was quick to ditch the Covid grift when the Ukraine one rocked into town. In a scene that was indistinguishable from that of a Hollywood blockbuster, Penn filmed a meet and greet with the pint-sized Ukrainian leader, where he presented one of his Oscar trophies as a gift. In a nauseating display of arse-licking, the similarly-statured pair of actors hugged and praised each other, and exchanged compliments like a couple newly in love.
The music business also spewed out big name after big name to push the narrative. Dolly Parton reworked her old favourite replacing the title name ‘Jolene’ with the word ‘vaccine’, in a distasteful and disappointing move. Proving a total loss of any humour they once possessed, comedy hip-hop group Goldie Lookin Chain released several tracks rapping about ‘covidiots’ and ‘get get get getting the jab done’. Then there was the dreadful Ariana Grande song and video, with James ‘not-funny-since-he-was-Smithy’ Corden. The least said about this the better. I shudder at the memory.
Bombarded by this endless celebrity endorsement, many succumbed to the pressure, and did indeed (see above, always the same) mask up, glove up, anti-bacterial-gel-up, shut the f-up, and jab up. But just in case there were still some resistant to these giants of the celebrity world, another avenue was exploited to push the message. The great British soap opera. I have not watched a soap in many years, and a quick YouTube search reminded me of why. (Was the acting always that atrocious!?) The big three ditched their friendly rivalry for the common good, and followed the same line for their Covid storylines, say it with me: (always the same) mask up, glove up, anti-bacterial-gel-up, shut the f-up, and jab up. Shall we start with the longest running soap of all time, good old Corrie? When Coronation Street launched in 1960, the show was a snapshot of normal, working-class life up north, and in its first 40 years, used humour and great characters to keep the nation hooked. Over 11,000 episodes in, however, and it has become a dreary tool for propaganda, alongside its little sister, Emmerdale, and its ‘rival’, BBC’s Eastenders.
Covid-era Corrie predictably offered up long-standing village Idiot, Kirk, as their resident anti-vaxxer. The good, compliant, clever characters, like the bird that runs the knicker factory, sneer at him as he tells them his views. Then there is hospital nurse, Aggie, who Facetime’s her loving husband to tell him she must self-isolate, and cannot make it home for the socially distanced, Zoom anniversary party he has organised. Sticking pins in my eyes, springs to mind. Then there’s the vulnerable Izzy, who has developed crippling agoraphobia after ‘shielding’ for over a year behind her front door with the curtains closed. All the appropriate tropes were in there.
Not to be outdone, Eastenders gave us senior-citizen cool-dude Patrick celebrating his second vaccine, doing a little dance, and being congratulated by the woman in the paper shop, who is eagerly awaiting her first. Eastenders’ own brand of idiot, a character named Karen, joins the conversation, and shows some healthy scepticism about the hastily produced shots. The others are infuriated, and give her both barrels of propaganda, ‘all the best scientists have worked on this, and you know better? How’s that PHD working out for you’. More of the same, tarnishing any questioners with the stupid brush.
Emmerdale didn’t disappoint either, and rolled out elderly Eric (who has been in the soap so long he must be giving Corrie’s aging Lothario Ken Barlow a run for his money) who announces with fanfare to his son that he has just received his second jab, and, through tears of joy, he confirms he is now ‘fully vaccinated’. His joyous announcement aged like milk, of course, as soon after ‘fully vaccinated’ meant fifty jabs, or something close. Just two? Amateur.
There were, of course, many, many more scenes in soap operas, and daytime television segments, and actors and musicians pushing the tyrannical message like good little soldiers, than I have included here. One would need an entire novel to list them all. But you get the picture. And I have not even touched on children’s television, and the blatant brainwashing that played out there. That’s for another piece. But what this should spell out to the masses is that a ‘pandemic’ that requires this level of publicity, to convince people that it even exists, is more than a little questionable. Sadly, however, advertising works. It is why companies like Nespresso pay vast sums for the likes of George Clooney to promote their brands. And it is why so many just (always the same) masked up, gloved up, anti-bacterial-gelled-up, shut the f-up, and jabbed up. Because their favourite celebrities told them to. God help us if (when?) they try it again.
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